Well today is Jan. 2nd of 2009. I can't believe still that you are gone. I understand God's plan and how it all works it just is so hard for us here that are left behind until we meet again. You know this past year and still right now things are so stressful and I find when I am stressed that I tend to take it out on Matt. Then I think of you and Brenda and I am reminded that I bet she looks back at your time together and realizes all the time that could have been spent better. Now I am not saying that the two of you didn't have a good marriage because you did. I could tell that the both of you completed each other. I am just saying when people are married you deal with hard times like the economy or finances or bills {do you see the reoccuring theme?} anyway when all is said in done we can't take our "things with us"...so why do I or we spend so much time worrying about it all? I remember when I would stress like this.....you were always a calm focussed voice I could turn to. I love how you knew when to listen and you knew when to offer advice. I wonder why God doesn't allow us to have even a measily 10 minutes a year to chat with you......I bet we wouldn't take that time for granted like we did when our loved ones were here.
If I had ten minutes to talk with you this is how I think I would use it.
1. I would spend all ten minutes hearing about you and how you have been doing in heaven.
The thing I struggle with right now besides finances is.....it can possibly be like 60 to 70 years before I see or hear from you. You can not physically be here to see your grandkids grow....you have two knew grandkids since you died. You will not be at Taylors graduation from highschool you will not be at Isabella's wedding. Anyway I love you dad and I still miss you more than ever. I am praying that God would allow you to feel my heart today cause today it is hurting.
Love you
Kelley
